I wrote this piece for the New Statesman about footballers on Twitter. It’s like they don’t really think anyone’s gonna see what they write, right? That’s like me. I write all sorts of mindless bullshit on Twitter, forgetting that it’s out there for the world to see. But, of course, the world really couldn’t give a flying fuck about anything I say, think or do. So I can write what the hell I like. You’re not even paying any attention as you read this are you? You’re thinking about what you’re going to have for your tea. Yeah, well screw you, you greedy fuck.